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Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Rest of the Story.

i'm sitting here and i can hardly feel my limbs. I feel as if i'm floating in place. Even my head is heavy on my neck. And as much as this sounds like a pleasant experience, i feel like i am the scum of the earth. Like life is just fucking with me. I looked at the clock a moment ago, and it was 11:11 again. I gave up on wishing long ago, because none of it ever comes true.



...I nodded off for a while...

*Edit
Last night, while drunk, i wrote some things that i probably shouldn't have. I kept to as little detail as possible with exactly how i felt, but when if comes down to it, i still may have said too much. I didn't sleep well at all last night, worry about what i said, and what might have been going on outside of these four walls. To summarize what has happened in the last few days is actually very simple: I was bummed out because living out here just got harder, so i had a little to much to drink, and i drank my problems away. And if any of you know me, that's really not how i do things. The reality of it is it actually made me feel worse and i became a sniveling girl. There are some things i need to clear up in my head by either working them out on my own or talking to the appropriate people. I don't want to keep waking up mornings with bedfellows that will plague me the rest of the day. I need to use what has happened to me and allow it to make me a better person. It's either do or die this time. Lets hope not literally.

-Josh

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