Defy Emotion

Through recent events i think i have become bi-polar. Some things just put me in such a good mood. and then others just bring me all the way back down. At least it's a beautiful, sunny Friday, and it's a pay day.

By Way of Windshield Notes

Marked

This is a tattoo idea I drew up for Nick. I kinda just went at it with a Micron pen without sketching out anything first. Typically, i don't do this because it would turn out like crap. I'm not saying this one breaks that mold, but it's better than i thought. And really, the guy doing the tattooing, Tim Kern, is pretty much spectacular, so all he needed was an idea to go by. I will try to get Nick's permission to post his tattoo when it's finished, so you can see where it goes. Nick, start polishing those guns for pictures.

Last night, I bitched out, and got Halo 3. I played it until about 1 last night, so far, so good. Along with Halo i made these purchases:
• The Weakerthans - Reunion Tour
• Iron and Wine - The Shepherd's Dog
• Free Halo 3 wall sticker
• Knocked Up 2 Disc Edition (with free playing cards)
• Taco Bell Grande Meal

Aaron tallied it up to be 126 or so. (what i forget the official tally?!, so what if it was a lot.)
Then, i painted a cool zombie at Aaron and John's. Lucky for me that was free.

"And I'll tell myself I'm over you 'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking"

It Takes More Than A Year to Make A Legend

The days are getting shorter, the mornings cooler... the TV better. Fall is here. Officially, yesterday was the first day, but it certainly didn't feel like it. Neither did today for that matter, but it was still dark when i woke up and that was tough.

A year ago, Saturday, I was out here for a year. I hadn't start work yet, but I moved in the last week of September, knowing only two people well enough to call friends. Today, i am not doing to much different from when i first got here; sitting in front of my computer, blogging, with the TV on in the background. Then again a lot has changed. I am trying to make due with what i have been dealt, but sometimes it's tough. Things are starting to get easier. My mind is definitely in a different place than i was 3 months ago. Or even a month.

I got a Hand Job today. Don't worry, it's a book... a type book. And it's pretty much awesome. It's by Michael Perry who i have mentioned before. This is the coolest book i own, hands down. If you want to take a look at it, just ask. Here are some images per Amazon:


Halo 3 comes out tomorrow... today, whatever, 9/25. I admit, I'm gay for Halo. I will get it soon, but probably not until the weekend.

Losing Promise

Tonight, Family Guy is doing a Star Wars special, calling it Blue Harvest. The name alone tells me they are being huge nerds about the whole thing. Using my supreme nerd skills i was actually able to find the first 15 minutes of it from the Star War Anniversary celebration about 3/4 months ago. Anyone who is a fan of either Family Guy or Star Wars will love this episode, if you love both, you might want to have a new pair of pants ready just incase you ruin them.
Where do things go awry and how can i stop it from happening, or go back and change them? Have i made the wrong decisions along the way? If not, why does it feel like that? I ask myself this shit everyday... and i feel no more content asking it as i do when i receive then answer. Sometimes i feel alone, even when I'm with others.

The huge Plaza Art Fair was this weekend. It was in fact too big to see all if it in one day, so i went back today to enjoy the rest. It was inspirational to say the least; a lot of interesting artists, as well as all types of people visiting the excitement. I guess this is one of the perks of living in the city, is you are so close to these events it's almost impossible not to go and participate. It was much better than the Westport Art Fair, which as a whole was pretty much a shit fair.

Incase, you don't follow sports both the Eagles and the Chiefs won this weekend. At least sports are looking up.

KAKOW!

Odds Stacked Against Us

You Kill Me - Not quite what I expected... It had some redeeming moments, but for the most part, it just wasn't funny. I wish i could think of something witty to say about the movie, but i'm about as unfunny as the movie at this point. The story is about an alcoholic hitman being sent to San Francisco for rehab and to work as a mortician, when he finds love and the will to become sober. Tea Leoni's one liners where the only thing to save the movie. Ben Kingsley and Luke Wilson didn't do anything for me.






City of Violence - More Korean movies! Basically this was a Korean Tarantino film. The story was pretty recycled and predictable, but the action scenes made up for the lack of originality. After the death of the oldest of 5 friends, they are reconnected 20 years later, but not everyone is quite as genuine as they were back in the day.


Work is going well for now. I have obviously been too busy to post at work, but there really hasn't been a lot to report anyhow.

This weekend... Death Proof. I'm excited.

Snails Live Full Lives.

Work is busy again. It's about time.

With Talons.

Tonight; the season home opener for the Philadelphia Eagles. Most people who know me well enough, know i don't really like sports all that much. I pretty much only follow my home teams when i can, and pick up on the rest while watching PTI and SportsCenter at the gym.
Taking sports into a realm i relate too; the NFL thinks they have a genius marketing scheme on their hands by selling fashion friendly woman's clothing. Such as this.This idea took off about 2 years ago and seems to be doing well. Personally, i think it would be best if the clothing Eagles fans wore to parties looked like the picture to the left.
Of course, the Birds lost in the long run. 20-12. Bitches.




Today at work, they warned us, a second time, about posting "Hallmark proprietary material" on blogs and on the internet. Of course, being the young, technologically savvy Hallmark "kid", I must be the culprit. Or at least thats who i feel. My manager singled me out already, what's stopping the rest of the crew now. Is that going to stop me from blogging? Or blogging about work? Fuck no. As far as we were informed, i am still well within legal guidelines on what i am posting online.
I got a call today to do some freelance work, I am going to call back at lunch tomorrow and see what it's all about.
I think I'll go to bed early tonight.

The Devil's Happiness.

I'm holding out hope that some people still find joy and/or help in my movie reviews. I am struggling to find an good length to make them too. Here it goes (in the order i watched them):


Drive Thru- Gore + really cheesy lines + bad nonsensical plot line = Crappy horror movie. Good times, I missed these.

The Ex (aka. Fast Track)- A cute comedy about a new father who loses his job and has to work for his father in law at an ad agency. Jason Bateman nails his roll and doesn't disappoint as the cock, crippled, "star" advertiser at the firm. Bateman pretty much makes the movie for me, Zach Braff didn't blow me away. It's not really no stop laughs, but it has it's moments. As a warning towards designers; this movie has a grossly inaccurate depiction of creatives, pretty much calling them crazy and eccentric (well, maybe not completely off...).

Black Snake Moan- Christina Ricci's boobs are awesome. Sam Jackson's singing is awesome. Justin Timberlake... is OK. A really fantastic, original story about an old blues singer that tries to help sex addict break her bad... sexy habits. I can't think of a complaint of the top of my head for this movie. It was the best of the group i am reviewing.

Oldboy- The Korean movie in which the guy that shot up VT apparently imitated a picture from so that give you an idea. This movie is seriously fucked up. It's redeeming values where some cool fighting sequences and proverb like narration. But, the use of incest as a main plot point was a little weird, and kind of a turn off.

Come October, the only movies i will be renting will be horror based; Zombies, Killers, Blood and Gore, Monsters, Paris Hiltons acting (ZING!), etc.

Damned to the Rocks.

Tasty Blog Snack
Today, I found probably the cutest girl to ever be obsessed with Macs and video games, Justine Ezarik. And she knows it, because there are pictures of her all over her site. She goes by the name of iJustine, which hits my gag-reflex, lives in Pittsburgh, and is clearly a designer and video editor obessesed with pink. I think I'm in love.

Friday. Finally. This might have been the longest week I have experience in a long time...

Lucky for me, Wednesday seemed to be the low point of my week. I have some weekend plans that should take my mind off of my current problems, with any luck.

"Don't just tell me what you want me to hear. I'll be fine"

Happiness is Made of...

Arby's.
(Today, I was thinkin' Arby's, and so was Heather:
Thanks Garthy.)

Keira Knightley topless.

This video. The song is good, the video is better.

CS3. yum.

The Philips Norelco Bodygroom ad campain.

Set Your Goals - Mutiny!.

Together they make something that probably tastes delicious, but mostly just makes me smile (which i could use). Thank you.

Fix It.

Last night was a school night. I didn't talk to anyone all night except for online. All i did was work on designs. It felt pretty good actually. It felt a lot like college. But, I was in a bitter mood, so thats how it all turned out. You can probably tell that I updated my blog a little bit, the same can be said for my website, sorta.

I took Bob's advice and went and got icecream last night. It sucks doing stuff by yourself, but it was kinda like what i pictured it to be if i moved out here and didn't know anyone.

I hate being a sensative guy, and i hate blogging about it. But it's easier to type up my anger and sorrow than it is to try and stumble over my words while talking it out with some one. I know some people think it's ridiculous to publicly display what ales you, but you aren't me, and this is what i'm comfortable with. Blogs are for whiney bitches.

If it's any conciliation, i feel slightly better today. Thank you to the people who tried to help yesterday.

(Yes, i forgot the "h". I will fix it when i get home. I was typing in anger at myself, and i am an awful speller.)

Take Me Back To Happier Times (Because Today I Am a Failure).

Lately, I have gotten worse.

This morning i woke up in an awful haze. I can't blame it on the weather, because each day lately has been stunning and beautiful. I don't know whats doing it, but i feel miserable. I wasn't like this in the begining of the week, but as each day passed, things got worse. I feel as if by the weekend I will be locking myself inside my apartment.

This looming sadness just won't go away. I've tryed the things that typically make me happy.

It's not the first time i have felt like this, but some days you just wake up and hate your surroundings, your life, and possibly everything in it. This week, everyday has been like that, progressingly getting worse.

I wake up to a world that i feel like i may as well not be in. It's the days you feel like "if i wasn't here, nothing would be different".

How did i slip under this darkness and how do i climb out?

I feel my stature is constantly being judged but invisible juries. I'm not a good enough designer, a good enough friend, a good enough person. No matter what I do some days, i feel like i'm doing it wrong. I'm not content with anything, but i'm not doing anything to change it.

I have it bad.

I feel like i am forgetting all of the good times i once had, because it's clouded with visions of failure. It's days like this, I wish i could turn back time...

Help me out. I need advice.

Makes My Heart Hurt

This is better lip-sinking and dance moves than Brittney herself. But don't tell him that. See video below.

This is real shit right here! Don't laugh.

I've Said Enough

Big Hollywood Murder

In the Headlines:
• Nice! Paris Hilton is suing Hallmark for $500,000 to a card the costs $2.94 and i personally don't even think is that good. Probably because she thinks she can copywrite "thats hot". Daddy makes all of his money from owning beautiful hotels, and Paris makes her money from from law suits. Classy.

• Someone was murdered in my alma mater Thursday. Reaffirming the fact that the Mennonites have an evil streak in them. Actually, this is really no laughing matter, it's very heartbreaking. It was 3 dick heads who beat up a 19 year old downtown. Story here.

• I have decided to myself that i just need to talk less, that everything i say can be used against me, and that I need to start doing things for myself, because i'm getting no where like this.
• Carrying on the tradition of Japanese cut paper art, Patrick Gannon now lives in Tokyo, Japan, and put is constantly updating is blog with new work. Why can't this guy be me? If i had any talent at all, i would do this.

• Brittany Spears is going to publicly humiliate herself by opening up the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, with her latest hook up Criss Angel. Criss Angel will be performing a trick where he makes Brittany's career completely disappear. ZING! Call me Conan if you need a writer.

"and there's this burning like there's always been."

Eating Poison Apples

Oh, Steve Jobs. You sure do love your money. Yesterday Two Days ago (because i haven't had the time to finish this post), at noon central time, Mr. Jobs, met to discuss some new stuff from Apple. It was very recently that he just done the same thing for the new iMac, the new OS, and again for the iPhone. I feel like he is up on stage sporting jeans and a black half-turtle neck every month with something announcing the update from iTunes 7.3 to 7.4... I have unfortunately bit into a sour Apple lately. The thing is, this keynote was to "talk about music". All Apple music products have been updated in some form. The Shuffles; a new colors, and the Nano ("the iPod Stubby"); a screen size upgade to a 2" (it sounds like i don't like it, but it's nice).

Here are the big changes; the original iPod, now called the iPod Classic, is now made Full Metal Alchemist, and the models were bumped up. The old 30 gig is is now the new 80 gig, thinner and the cheaper at $249. The new 80 gig is 160 GIG!, the more bulky and expencive at $349. Both sport a great looking new interface, which i assume won't be available to the suckers who already own one. BUT, if you don't have an iPod to listen to music or play movies, you are in luck! The brand-spankin'-new, iPod Touch, is basically the iPhone without having the nasty inconvience of recieving calls. Right down to the fact that it doesn't have any more than 16 gig on it's $399 high end version (there is the useless 8 gig was well). To make "the Touch" even more useless, Apple lowered the price of it's iPhone to $299. Unless this is some crazy marketing scheme to get people to by more iPhones, i don't see anyone buying the new Touch. If you are one of those people, you will have to explain to me your logic, i feel as if i am missing something.
Another new addition is the Wi-Fi iTunes, and Starbucks playlists. Now you can go into coffeeshops, ESPECIALLY Starbucks to download your favorite tunes to your pocket, and then later back to your computer. Or if you are like me, and the majority of the coffee shop goers, you probably just have a laptop, that you bring everywhere anyway, you can use. Nice try though, you used to be cool!

-Josh

PS. Apple still cool.

Drink to Gladness

New month. Summer is over. Does that mean anything has changed?
I had a good holiday weekend; nothing special, but cheap. The best part was Kabobs (best pronounced like "Flight of the Concords" say it) on Monday night ($16). Each time they turn out slightly better than the last. Sunday night, I spend the night drinking and playing the Wii and Texas Hold'em for my buddy Jaybos birthday ($5). Saturday we watched Blades of Glory, and drank wine and ate pizza in front of Heathers new TV ($10, even though i spent $75 on the new Minus the Bear, and BioShock). And Friday after happy hour, we went swimming and drinking at Bobs pool, then went to McDonalds for a late night snack, and I watched American Psycho ($12). I ended with a full stomach, a nice tan (burn), and It was no St Louis, Chicago, or home, but it was still a good long-weekend with good friends.

Nihilist Movement

Heather got a brand-new 32' Philips TV (which is really sexy), so we watched:
Blades of Glory - The Will Ferrell movies have been going down hill since he peaked with "Elf" and "Anchorman." When Ferrell and Napoleon Dynamite, err... Jon Heder, team up to take on the most stereotypically gay sport out there, male couples ice skating, you think it would be an uproarious laugh-fest. But you were mistaken. It had it's moments and as a whole it was pretty good, and still funny. However, Will Ferrell once again recycled his Robert Goulet impression for another character, and no matter how much you try it's hard to picture Jon Heder as anything but Napoleon. A step down from Taladaga Nights was Anchorman, and Blades of Glory was a step down from Taladaga... something has to change here. However, Pam from the Office is still in and movie, and is smokin'.

Tonight, alone, i watched:
Bridge to Terabithia - Movies made from books typically end up pretty far off from it's original words. I had hoped this movie would break the mold, unfortunately it didn't. Understandably so, the movie was updated to modern times to appeal to the children's audience. Many things were, added and taken away from the original text, but the story stayed basically the same. Things were mostly added, such as the elaborate fantasy scenes that were clearly added to compete in todays market of fantasy tales, such as Chronicles of Narnia, and the Lord of the Rings. Looking at it now, I feel like the action scenes were necessary because no one goes to see a blockbuster of a heartwarming kids story that would typically find as a Hallmark movie or in the Dollar bin at your local Christian Bookstore. The main character Jesse Aarons was played by Josh Hutcherson (of Zathura), who was slightly colder than i pictured the Jess from the Book. Leslie Burke was played by AnnaSophia Robb (the blueberry girl in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory), who is just so adorable, and really makes you love her character. Zooey Deschanel (from Elf) played Ms. Edmonds, Jesse's teacher crush, and a wonderful singer, which probably landed her this role. In the book she is hippie, but honestly, it was really hard to criticizes the characters by there looks, because the book was originally set about 30 years ago.

if i get the time, maybe i will blog about personal stuff later, as for now. i will spare you.